Leisure

Year Pressure

The Most Dubious Moments of 2014

Whoa there, 2014. Before you go galloping off into history’s sunset, mantled in its soft-lit nostalgic glow, we want to remind you of some things about yourself. Some oof-did-that-really-just-happen? things. Yes, some dubious things. Someone has to keep you grounded.

MARCH 1

You Froze Your You-Know-Whats Off

We’re used to cold winters here. But, ugh. Enough was finally enough. Last year’s polar vortex resulted in a miserably long winter—the most days at or below zero degrees ever—and epidemic levels of post-thaw potholes. Though, it was fun to say “polar vortex” a lot.

JUNE 13

The Donald Left a Big Trump in Town

Donald Trump generously helped Chicago to be recognized as one of the absolute classiest places west of Atlantic City by plastering his name in 20-foot-high letters on the side of Trump Tower. “It’ll be like the Hollywood sign,” he said. Yep, it was just like that, Don.

AUGUST 12

Red Light Cameras Got Busted

If something seemed a little off with all those red light camera tickets you received, well, you were right. A judge dismissed 70% of them due to mistimed yellow lights, and the CEO of the company that makes the cameras was indicted on bribery charges, surprising exactly... nobody.

OCTOBER 4

Let’s Just Stick a Fork in Hot Doug’s

So a hot dog stand closed. Happens every day. No one notices. But when Encased Meat Emporium Hot Doug’s closed, you got blanket-media coverage, people camping out overnight and bidding wars for spots in line. In other words: really overhyped hot dog.

OCTOBER 12

The Marathon Became a Low-Speed Chase

Bryan Duffy ran his best. But in the end, it wasn’t exactly a great moment in Chicago Marathon history. Mostly because he wasn’t entered in the race. He was running from police who alleged that they found 10 capsules of Molly on him. Good thing it wasn’t speed.

OCTOBER 26

Oh, Lamarr. Poor, Poor Lamarr.

And now in hilarious-but-not-hilarious news: defensive end Lamarr Houston tore his ACL while celebrating his sack of Patriots backup quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo and had to miss the rest of the season. On the bright side, he didn’t miss much.