Damn. What a summer so far.

You’ve BBQ’d.

You’ve beer’d.

You’ve perfected your cannonball technique down to the last detail.

Please tell us you’ve perfected your...

Oh dear. This is worse than we thought.

Maybe you should take a look at this little step-by-step guide we’re calling Cannonball!—which isn’t a weird thing to name something that’s all about how to pull off summer’s most important water-based maneuver.

Go ahead. Take a look. It’s right here.

You see, August is hot. And when it’s hot, you tuck your knees to your chest and wreak havoc on chlorinated bodies of water that are otherwise places of respite and leisure, thus filling the giant cannonball-shaped hole in your life. That’s how it works.

All right, enough of this. On to your cannonball magnum opus, the culmination of hours of extensive research, collecting scientific data and... fine, there’s no science.

Only glory.