Whiskey jerky.

There are two ways this can happen:

1) Pour some whiskey over some beef and dehydrate it.
2) Don’t. And have the guys at Get Some Jerky send you a bunch of the stuff instead.

They’re importers of things that used to be cows but are currently whiskey-laced jerky, and the fruits of their magnificent labor are available online now.

These guys invented beef jerky. Only they didn’t. The Quechua people of South America did. But these guys should have invented beef jerky. Because they did a hell of a job making it taste like brown liquor, and that’s got to count for something.

About that: you’re here for the Black Label Whiskey. It’s what happens when you bathe thin slices of beef in... Black Label whiskey (and brown sugar and stuff, but you know).

But there’s also the Inferno, which involves Thai chilies, teriyaki sauce and red wine. As opposed to the Dante Alighieri version. That one’s a 14th-century epic poem about the afterlife and not a delicious snack food made from savory beef strips.

Although it probably should be.