Ostra.

It’s Spanish for “oyster.”

Unless it’s Spanish for “a monochrome marble palace of lobster paella and cava cocktails helmed by a former Mistral chef.” In which case, it’s the Ostra that’s now open for dinner in the Theatre District.

Everything’s white in here. White House–white. Picket-fence-white. White-tiger-white. Edgar Winter–wh... you get it. And right up front, you’ve got this open kitchen and a giant ice rack filled with fresh fish and oysters because this is a seafood restaurant and not those other things.

Your location: tableside with someone not averse to raw oysters. Just as you’re not averse to mixing vodka and cava in the same cocktail, like that Maiden Sway you’re holding. Comment on those hanging glass chandelier-sculptures. Note that they look suspiciously like jellyfish. Note that jellyfish are better as chandelier-sculptures than stingy jerks that live in the ocean.

Then forget all about that stuff. Because some duck-stock paella with half a lobster sitting in it is about to show up. No way dessert is happening after that. Unless Pop Rocks melted into strips of dark chocolate is an option. Which it is.

Someone planned this.