Eataly. It’s 63,000 square feet. It’s got 23 eateries. It has a mozzarella lab. It’s partly owned by a celeb chef who’s really into orange Crocs. Also: it’s now open in River North. But you knew all that. So... here’s some salient advice for navigating this behemoth.

Your first move: Lait Gelateria Alpina.
Not to be confused with the gelato bar. This is soft-serve gelato. You’ll ask why you’ve been toughing it out with regular gelato all these years.

The Nutella bar: also worth a visit.
Try it on bread. Get it in a crepe. Wonder if the Jif folks are now plotting a peanut-butter-and-jelly stand in Rome.

Your butternut-squash-chopping days are over.
Bring your produce to a blade-wielding veggie samurai on the first floor, who’ll slice, dice and julienne to your demanding specifications.

If you’ve got 90 seconds, you’ve got pizza.
Yes, it’ll be crowded at La Pizzeria on the second floor, but that 900-degree oven means there’s always time for a margherita pizza.

The beef is good.
The prime rib sandwich in La Rosticceria will alter your very perceptions of space, time and the universe. Or at least your lunch.

Learn how to pronounce “Birreria.”
This is the beer bar. Two musts of the season: Gina (a thyme-infused pale ale) and The Fl!p, a hot cocktail of beer, rum and egg white heated with a red-hot poker.

2014: the year of the red-hot poker.