Leisure

Present Tense

Massages, Beer and Other Ways to Unwind

We understand this time of year can be stressful. Visiting in-laws/attempting to wrap things can have that effect. But don’t worry, relief is in sight. And by relief, we mean beers, bathtubs and a little deep-tissue work. Consider it our gift to you. And your gift to you.

NOW HAIR THIS

The 7 Course Hair Service

You Require: Some thorough hair and hands upkeep, plus a few knots untied.
You’ll Receive: A whole lot of attention. We’re talking haircut, paraffin hand dip, massage and some refreshing steamed-towel action. If you like that (and you will), spring for a year membership. Or 30.

ON THE WATER FRONT

Old-Fashioned Cowboy Soak

You Require: Just a little alone time with your thoughts, a bathtub and a bottle of beer.
You’ll Receive: An oversize tub filled with aromatherapy oils and streaming jets to sooth tired muscles. And a cold bottle of Shiner to soothe everything else.

ALL THE RAGE

Anger Room

You Require: The ability to blow off some steam without fear of legal repercussions.
You’ll Receive: A room filled with weapons (baseball bats, sledgehammers) and breakable computers, flat-screen TVs and whatever other inanimate objects you’d like to beat into submission.

STEAM WORK

Espa Time

You Require: A day at the spa. A full day.
You’ll Receive: Up to four hours of massages and other life-affirming treatments, plus the Joule’s entire subterranean lair at your disposal. The tranquil pool, the sauna, the steam room, the crazy showers. This could take a while.

BUSINESS CASUAL

Office Massage

You Require: A little body work at your desk.
You’ll Receive: Dawn. She’s the licensed massage therapist who’ll come straight to your office, sit you down in a chair and go to town on your neck and shoulders while you wait for closing time.