Leisure

Calm Yourself

Five Ways to De-Stress from the Holidays

84: Number of times sitcoms have spoofed “A Christmas Carol” so far this year. 16: Times you’ve been elbowed by tourists on Michigan Avenue. 457: Times you’ve heard the Menard’s Christmas jingle. 5: Ways to relax before these stats cause you to go clinically insane. Let’s get to those now, shall we...

TOP CUT

The Gold Coast at Merchant & Rhoades

You Require: A full-service barber.
You’ll Receive: A chance to put this reboot of Truefitt & Hill through its paces. All of its paces—including a haircut, shave, pedicure, manicure, hand massage and foot massage. Also: a shoeshine. Your oxfords could use a little love, too.

KNEAD FOR SPEED

The Express Lounge at Valeo

You Require: Immediate relief.
You’ll Receive: A super-quick massage at the mini spa of the JW Marriott. Go for a 20-minute head, back and shoulder rubdown. Or a 10-minute chair massage of your neck and shoulders. Either will help treat jet lag—namely the kind caused by picking up relatives from O’Hare.

BUBBLES BATH

Gentleman’s Spa Day at Red Square

You Require: To drink champagne while someone rubs your feet.
You’ll Receive: Those very things in the form of a 45-minute Swedish massage, manicure and pedicure. Plus, all the heat and steam this Russian bathhouse can lay on you. Vodka, however, is extra.

SWEET RELIEF

Chocolate Signature at CFYB

You Require: To become one with a Hershey’s Kiss.
You’ll Receive: A warm chocolate compound that’s rubbed over your body to remove toxins and stress. Plus, it’s 100% calorie-free. (Just don’t lick yourself.)

PUNCH LIST

Training Session at Oakley Fight Club

You Require: To hit something. Anything. But not a relative. And not Santa. Dear God. Not Santa.
You’ll Receive: Something to hit in the form of punching bags during group sessions. Someone to hit in the form of pro sparring partners. And somewhere to work off all that eggnog you’ve been drinking.