WKND is opening at $45.10 a share.
These just in: 1) The most comfortable and technologically advanced pants known to man, 48% off. 2) 20% off the Equil JOT—an amazing smartpen that syncs everything you write to your devices. 3) An exclusive box of the world’s most exquisite spirits, delivered every month. It’s almost too easy.
—The FAA announced passengers may now use laptops, tablets and other electronics that
aren’t cellphones during takeoff and landing. Great. We guess.
—A Montreal Airport security guard discovered three pumpkins inside of a woman’s
luggage that were allegedly filled with two kilos of cocaine. Canada. Figures.
A playlist full of Britney Spears.
On repeat.
At an unreasonably loud volume.
Using speakers pointed directly at Somali pirates.
Never fails.
Her Name: Emily Ratajkowski.
That’s Pronounced: Rah-tah-cow-skee.
You Know Her As: That girl from the “Blurred Lines” video.
You’ll Remember Her For: Her not-at-all-safe-for-work photo shoots with Jonathan Leder
and Terry Richardson, and now: her very own website. Yes, the Internet needed this.
Remember that scene in A Christmas Story where the kid’s tongue gets stuck to a pole? Yeah... great scene. So great, turns out, that the residents of Hammond, Indiana, decided to erect a life-size monument of that scene in its honor. Or as a reminder of the dangers associated with triple-dog dares.
What happens when a very old Russian shepherd meets a very carnivorous bear in a raspberry field:
1) Man crosses paths with bear.
2) Man head-butts bear.
3) Bear throws man off cliff.
4) Man survives.
5) Man’s family bakes him pies.
6) Pies are washed down with vodka... presumably.
