We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

THE CLAIM
That floating inside the sensory-deprivation tank at Bethesda’s Hope Floats can de-stress you, relieve injuries and/or produce a state of high concentration.

THE INVESTIGATION
Our intrepid researcher went to a house in a leafy neighborhood in the burbs. He entered the lower level, where there’s... a tiny spa setup. After the usual shower/robe routine, it was time to climb into the sci-fi-ish tank and close the hatch.

Inside: our test subject lowered himself into a foot or so of water, kept exactly at skin temperature (94 degrees) and containing 800 pounds of Epsom salts to ensure that one floats on the surface. Which he did. For an hour. In pitch blackness. And silence. Good times.

THE VERDICT
Our researcher didn’t figure out how to colonize Mars, or reach a higher plane of existence, but he reports feeling energized and refreshed. Bonus: he’s no longer afraid of small spaces.

Or Bethesda.