The more things change, the more they stay the weekend.
Your Perks: 1) Handsome watches, available nowhere but Perks. 2) An iPhone case that doubles as four pro-grade camera lenses. 3) Leather wallets, handmade in Chicago and inspired by old-school gangsters. Who knew a thing or two about money...
Value per bottle of Old Farm Pure Rye Whiskey: $1,969.23
Bottles allegedly consumed by
one John Saunders: 52
Bottles that actually belonged to him:
0
Final tab: $102,400
Your current envy level:
8/10
Today, you honor Erna Klum. Firstly: for bringing her daughter, Heidi, into the world. And secondly: for taking some extremely flattering pictures of Heidi on a clothing-optional beach in the Bahamas, which she then shared with the world on Twitter. Motherhood, people. Take notes.
... and here’s a sample of its work.
Bradley Manning: José María Gamble
Tiger Woods: Ignacio Distress
Bill Clinton: Carlos Smash
Prince George Alexander Louis, House of Windsor: Lorenzo Catastrophe
Boggs. Blyleven. Brett. Pretty solid ballplayers. And in the event you’ve ever wanted to enshrine them on your office wall, Topps has made that possible by restoring a bunch of their 1980s baseball cards into frame-worthy gallery prints. There’s not a wall in the world that Goose Gossage’s face couldn’t improve.
Bun: $0.45
Slice of cheddar: $0.95
5-ounce synthetic burger made in a Dutch lab using stem cells: $330,000.00
Tax (@ 8%): $26,400.11
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Total: $356,401.51
