A certain piece of celebrity real estate just hit the market. It’s Chuck Norris’s House. Yes, we thought he lived in the wild, too. But nope, turns out he had a really nice place in North Dallas. And it can be yours now. Assuming the following figures meet your needs.

Asking price: $1.2 million
Room for negotiation: 0 (it’s Chuck F**king Norris)
Square footage of hardwood floors, white-tiled bathrooms and cavernous living rooms: 7,362
Number of bedrooms: 4
Number of bathrooms: 7 full/2 half
Number of fitness rooms adorned with Chuck Norris memorabilia: 1
Roundhouse kicks deployed inside that fitness room: too many to count
Media rooms with massive projection screens: 1
Actual TV shows filmed on the premises: 1 (Walker, Texas Ranger)
Episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger you can watch on your new projection screen: 203
Cars you can fit in the garage: 3
Tanks/choppers from Delta Force you can fit in the garage: 1 (snugly)
Square footage of the kitchen: 648
Chuck Norris’s favorite dish to make in said kitchen: revenge, served cold