Noses are magnificent things.

Think about it.

Without them, you wouldn’t be able to smell any roses. The 1987 Steve Martin blockbuster smash Roxanne would be totally lost on you.

And the next 152 words would just be a complete waste of everybody’s time...

Because they’re about West Third Brand, a new batch of kind of cologne-y, kind of body-spray-y fragrances designed to make you smell like tobacco leaves and pine (don’t worry, they smell way better than that sounded), available now at Sault New England.

Here comes the highlight reel:

Option 1: Basilica Noir
Nasal Notes: Touch of cedar. Touch of fir. Touch of clove. Has a 15th-century Italian church thing going. Which you probably shouldn’t ever say out loud to anyone.
Target Zone: Nape of the neck. Because, well... body spray.

Option 2: Tobacco 1812
Nasal Notes: Dried fruit and sweet tobacco leaf.
Target Zone: Anywhere but the mouth. It’s not that kind of fruit and tobacco.

Option 3: Antebellum
Nasal Notes: Ripe orange with wafts of pine and cedar.
Target Zone: Good for the pulse points, which tend to respond well to ripe oranges with wafts of pine and cedar.

Anyway, go noses.