Don’t forget to weekend.
This year, you’re getting the most prized breed of turkeys—a USDA Grade A, all-natural beauty from Robinson’s—delivered, for 30% off. And since you’ll need something to carve it with, we’re getting you up to 64% off the sharpest knives on earth. And, not Thanksgiving-y, but still: some handsome, exclusive vintage furniture.
Perhaps you’ve heard of Base Camp X. They make axes. And... now they make axes for your face. Kind of. See, they’ve got a new straight razor complete with a Tennessee hickory base and a Hart Steel blade hand-ground by blade guys in Michigan. You love a good blade guy.
We’ll keep this simple. You’re about to pick up a bottle of the strongest beer on the planet. And then you’re going to drink it. It’s 65% alcohol by volume. It’s stronger than whiskey. And it’s... probably not going to end well. Did we mention it’s called Armageddon? Because it’s called Armageddon.
Sometimes it’s nice to hear how good-looking you are. Or that your sneezes sound like giggling angels. Or that your hair smells like freshly cut grass. Well, the Emergency Compliment generator does that. Just click through and receive accolades. You can also buy prints of said accolades. Go with it.
When you drink drinks, you put them on coasters. And when you open beers, you use a bottle opener. Unless, of course, you have a coaster that also happens to be a bottle opener. And, oh look, here’s a set of those now. Earth-shattering. This is earth-shattering news.
It’s fall. Which means you’re definitely in the mood to chop trees down. And maybe whittle a stick for no reason. And seeing as that’s the case, you’ll be needing this axe/knife combo. On the surface, it’s a full-on axe. Hidden inside of it: a full-on knife. Somewhere, Rambo weeps.
