Entertainment

It’s Pat

Your St. Patrick’s Day Survival Kit

Between the parades, various crawls and jukeboxes blaring “Sunday Bloody Sunday,” St. Pat’s can also be a beautiful, emerald-tinged minefield. This survival kit will keep you at the top of your game. Sláinte.

EVEN BETTER THAN THE REAL THING

A Bono Double

What: Pretty much the leading Bono impersonator around. He hails from the moors of San Diego, and he comes complete with sunglasses, earrings, the moves and, if necessary, a tribute band.
Potential Uses: Spontaneous karaoke duets. Getting drinks bought for you. Making people think you’re The Edge.

BLOWN AWAY

Irish Glass for an Irish Dram

What: A tumbler glass handblown in County Kilkenny from the good lads at Makers & Brothers.
Potential Uses: Drinking water. Drinking not water. Signifying nonverbally that you don’t drink green beer. Smashing indignantly for intimidation/celebration.

... AND SMOKE IT

The Handmade Irish Pipe You Require

What: Distinguished briarwood tobacco pipes you can contemplatively bite while pretending to be plotting out an epic roman à clef.
Potential Uses: Tweed suit accessorization. Adding gravitas when pointing to things. Bubbles.

TWEET ACTION

Buying a Beer for Anyone, Anywhere

What: A Web app that uses your Twitter account to let you buy a round for friends no matter where you are by transferring money between PayPal accounts.
Potential Uses: Letting cross-country friends know you care about them. Spending your eBay windfall. Buying a round for random drinkers in Tulsa.

THE HANG OF IT

A Little Something for the Day After

What: Vitamin-enhanced water that has everything you need to make March 18 feel not at all like the day after St. Patrick’s Day.
Potential Uses: Adding to Guinness, adding to whiskey, adding to corned beef and cabbage.