As you may have heard, Central Square recently lost the Enormous Room. As you also may have heard, it was replaced with something called Brick and Mortar. And since we knew you’d want a statistical analysis of the new place, we made a list of numbers detailing it. No math will be required.

Median age of the patrons: 30-ish
Median species of patron: somewhere between creative professional and hipster
Pairs of indie Wayfarer eyeglasses you’ll spot upon entering: 2 to 6
Percentage chance you’ll find a space available at the giant fishing-hook-shaped copper bar at 9pm: 5
Vinyl albums behind the bar: 137
Turntables to play them on: 2
Maximum Velvet Underground songs you’ll hear in a row on said turntables: 6
Approximate time of night the music switches to a bass-y soul: 10:17pm
Girls spotted drinking neat scotch: 2
How many of them seemed approachable: 2
Cocktails on the menu with absinthe: 2
Minutes it takes the absinthe in a Teardrop to induce van Gogh–caliber hallucinations: 11
Crostini on wood-fired bread you can get for $9: 2
Approximate minutes you’ll spend deciding between the Duck Hash and the chicken and waffles: 9
Female servers with full-sleeve arm tattoos: 2
Number we saw doing the running man to David Bowie: 1