Welcome to the cutting-room floor, home to the beautiful products that came up in 2011 and barely missed the cut. And by barely, we mean by a long shot. You’re about to see why...
The biggest problem with your jeans: the pockets are way too permanent. Until now, obviously. Because the brilliant minds at Gridlock Denim are offering you paint-washed jeans with interchangeable zip-on pockets, bedazzled with gunmetal studs and skull imprints. We apologize in advance for the website music.
Your face: a piece of art. So naturally, it’s long been time for you to take a picture of it and slap it on a massive pillow. Your family will love waking up to your Blue Steel.
This is a disposable patch that you gently stick to your underwear to neutralize anything that doesn’t smell like air. Each pack includes five “saving graces.” Not included: instructions on explaining this situation to your date.
High on the big list of life’s annoyances: just about anything but leaving fingerprints on your phone. Here to solve just that, however: this thing, basically a ring with a button on it. (Don’t worry: one size fits most.) It’s almost as practical as just using your fingers.
It happens. Big meeting. Awkward pause. Your move: breaking out this literal twist on the piano tie—the knot is a microphone—and serenading them with a little “Crocodile Rock.” Actually, don’t.
