We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Copyright pending.)

THE CLAIM
That the Spider Gates Cemetery in Leicester is actually haunted.

THE INVESTIGATION
Just before sunset on a rainy day, the UD paranormal unit, armed with all manner of investigative equipment (picture Ghostbusters, but replace the proton pack with a beer helmet), drove into the woods of Leicester searching out the Spider Gates Cemetery.

We abandoned our modified Winnebago (aka “the ghost whisperer”), traveled by foot over a stream and came upon the web-like gate that boasts years of “then this happened...”–type stories. We stopped. We waited. We experienced no aneurysm-inducing sounds or visions. Finally, with parkour-ish aplomb, we ventured over the gate. Still nothing. Eventually, a woman approached us and commented that smartphone activity in the area was a bit dodgy.

THE VERDICT
Although we felt normal levels of creepiness due to standing in a New England cemetery that dates back to the Quakers, we found nary a shred of evidence of paranormal activity. That said, the woman we encountered also mentioned that there was a hidden cemetery and cave down the road that was the site of a local murder and suicide.

We’ll let you handle that one.