Your primal instincts.

They’ve always been there. And sometimes the urge to succumb to even the basest of them takes hold.

Brazenly leaping through fire. Crawling facedown through the mud. Breaking out your seersucker loincloth and throwing spears.

Yes, that was definitely an interesting date...

But for now, let’s just focus on the Spartan Race—a harrowing and delightfully barbaric journey through a blinding array of mettle-testing obstacles, now awaiting your registration for race day on April 30.

If you’ve ever wanted to know what Max felt like mid-Thunderdome (minus ’80s Tina Turner), this may be the race for you. You’ll begin by picking a start time, as well as deciding whether you’d like to recruit a team or make it a solo mission. And once that’s out of the way, find the nearest mirror, look yourself dead in the face... and scream something the 300 guy would scream.

Good, now you’re ready.

And that’s probably a good thing, considering you’re about to be face-to-face with four miles of winding trails laced with barbed wire, water cannons, fire jumps, gladiator pits and spear-throwing pit stops—and just in case, they’ve also thrown in a few surprises to keep you on your toes.

Emerge from the melee in one piece and you’ll be rewarded handsomely with a hero’s welcome and, more importantly, a gratis flow of ice-cold beer.

And a T-shirt.