Today, some good news.

You’re about to embark upon a grand adventure...

And here’s a hint: it involves you, a hotel and hundreds of girls with names like Wham Bam Pam, Red Hot Annie and Hottie McNaughty.

So first off, congratulations...

And secondly, you’ll find them all at the Southern Fried Burlesque Fest, a four-day pastie-tastic marathon of national stage competitions, workshops (we’re looking at you, burlesque yoga) and scantily clad acrobatics, now gearing up for its inaugural debut this Thursday in Decatur.

If it helps, feel free to think of this as the pinup girl version of the Olympics (only at a Holiday Inn instead of in London). Your options for making the most of this little assemblage are pretty much limitless—you could always sequester an adventurous date, check out the schedule online and grab individual tickets for classes like Pastie Making with D’lilah D’lite or Chair Dancing with Galxxy Skky (you can just call them gifts).

Then again, it may also be in your best interest to grab a room for the weekend and make the rounds... a heated pageant competition here, a legends-of-burlesque panel discussion there. Either way, we’re pretty sure you’ll never look at a Holiday Inn the same way after this.

Not that you would want to.