Today, a warning: you’re being ranked.

You may not know it—but even as you read this, there’s an underground network of colleagues, turncoats and informants anonymously weighing in on your competence, popularity and value as a human being.

And it’s time you joined them.

Welcome to Cubeduel, a ruthlessly efficient online tool for covertly ranking your coworkers, available now.

If you’ve ever used Hot or Not, we won’t tell anyone. Also, that means you’ll know how this works.

Anyone with a LinkedIn ID can sign in, which means you’ll be ranked by anyone from the mysterious (possibly grudge-bearing) new secretary to the guy in tech who braids his beard. As soon as they log in, they’ll see two faces and choose a winner, then another, then another—at which point, you’d better hope you’ve been bringing donuts to meetings.

Naturally, you’ll want to do a little investigating yourself—if only to set the record straight. Once you’ve logged 20 duels, you’ll get access to the crown jewels: a ranked list of everyone in your company, as judged by the online voters.

You might not want to tell your office about this.