Your list of New Year’s resolutions just got leaked. And we have to say, it’s a doozy.

1. Incorporate more trampolines into your gym routine.

2. Start training like you’re starring in a boxing movie (note: you play the lead, not the brother).

3. Three words: yoga for threesomes.

And while you might’ve thought that list was a little far-fetched, we’re here to tell you it’s not. At all.

Introducing ESP Wellness Center, a futuristically sparse place to fine-tune your body with trampolines, boxing and, yes, private yoga for threesomes, now open on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica.

Basically, this is the kind of place that makes a bench-press station seem as current as a Pinto. Sure, they’ve got some touchy-feely stuff that’ll help you tap into your inner well-consciousness-being and the like, but they’ve also got boxing for couples. And classes where all you do is bounce on a trampoline―one with ’80s music, one without. (If you don’t hear Van Halen’s “Jump” at some point, you’re probably in the non-’80s one.)

And if you’re more of a “train outdoors” person, they’ve also got a boot-camp class that takes to the streets. (You might find yourself conquering the Santa Monica stairs one day, running on the beach the next.)

And as for that private yoga, offered for couples as well as threesomes (we wouldn’t make that up), well...

Try and keep track of whose leg is behind your head.