Soon, the ball will drop. The smoke will clear. And you will find yourself waking up at the crack of January 1 on a rooftop next to a baby wombat and a set of helicopter keys. In other words, a good start to the new year. Below, a few more diversions to help keep those nagging resolutions at bay for a while. Or at least until 2012.
It’s not that your razor doesn’t get the job done. It’s just that you don’t look nearly as cool as Doc Holliday in Tombstone when you’re shaving. Also, you honestly see no reason to have to deal with your own facial hair. Solution: head to Nadine’s Triple Crown for the old-school straight razor shave treatment. RIP, face-related manual labor.
There’s a fine line between want and need. You’ve just never really paid much attention to it. So for this next part, we’d suggest earmuffs for the latter. Behold the Flamethrower—a shining example of completely unnecessary sushi technology involving, naturally, fistfuls of lobster tail and Kobe beef. In other words, a light snack.
Typical resolution logic states: stick to the essentials. We state: run in the opposite direction and get a three-hour marathon of massages. You’ll start with an hour’s worth of full-body rubdowns, followed by another on your hands and feet, then finish with the Gentlemen’s Club Facial. And yes, that takes an hour too.
You’ve been partying. Quite a bit, actually. But on the off chance you’re thinking about scaling back a bit in 2011, we’d like to suggest the exact opposite. Or at least an off-menu Sidecar Manhattan... that happens to be rimmed with gold flakes. Gold is the new milk mustache.
You may have heard of its existence. Even pondered the feasibility of such a creation. Well, in accordance with your future gluttonous aspirations, it’s time to meet the Grits Bar—a heaping bowl of speckled white grits topped with pork BBQ, pimento cheese or Beer-Battered Fish and Malt Vinegar Gastrique. Or all three. Yes, all three.
