The weekend is showing some turkeys the time of their life.
In case your pockets just don’t have the real estate for the essentials—namely, scotch and other assorted medicinal aids—here’s the solution: a leather holster for your vices, complete with a stainless steel flask. Slightly more understated than the beer can hat.
Your handshakes: firm, but true. Your tissue massages: devastatingly deep, but soothing. It would be a shame to expose even one of your fingers to a harsh winter. So you’ll stick them in these: alkaline-powered gloves that radiate eight hours’ worth of heat per charge. Also melts snowballs on contact.
You’ve often wondered what happens to a baseball bat when it breaks during a game. Turns out, it gets made into a bottle opener. Each piece comes from a used MLB bat and is tagged with a hologram number identifying which game it’s from. You love hearing that crack of bat meeting bottle.
Your family’s Thanksgiving dinner is pretty much flawless. The turkey is roasted to a golden brown. The yams, ethereal. The stuffing, indescribable. The only problem: you can’t blow bubbles with it. For that, you’ll need these Thanksgiving gumballs, in turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie flavors. Gravy optional.
There’s a movie based on your Twitter feed slotted for summer 2011. A TV pilot in development about your daily IMs. And now, a website that’ll take the best text conversation submitted each week and turn it into a comic strip. Good thing you regularly text with a lasagna-crazed tabby cat.
