You live a pretty charmed life.

From field testing roadsters in the Kalahari to your more recent exploits as a part-time lobbyist for the lingerie model industry—you’ve got stories to tell.

In fact, you might even consider being immortalized in song.

Introducing Your Own Song, a personalized service that calls upon professional songwriters and musicians to turn your life into the epic power ballad that it was meant to be, available now.

Think of this as your own personal autobiography, where tasty licks and power vocals pick up where run-on sentences left off. The style and content of your song are completely up to you, but there’s something borderline mandatory about telling the tale of your first kiss at the skating rink in the key of Whitesnake minor.

Here’s how it works: you’ll start by chatting with your songwriter about the peaks and valleys of your life (“valley” being code for your ill-advised exploits in Istanbul), and from there they will convert your experiences into lyrics, and those lyrics into the timeless theme song of your life. And finally, all of your torrid tales will then be laid down in a professional studio, and a CD of the final master recording will be shipped to your door.

You could also get a song about someone else.