Valentine's Day is a celebration of love and relationships (not to mention greeting card company
profits). So it might seem odd to sit down today with a guy who's made his name as a consummate pickup
artist. But, Neil Strauss, the best-selling author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, talks about relationships,
how The Game works for women, plans for his new book, and that truly special kind of
"relationship"—the threesome.
UD: How do women react to you when they find out who you are?
NS: I think there's excitement next to fear. I think they're worried that I have some secret manipulation powers to weave them under my spell.
UD: NYC or LA?
NS: New York is a better city, but I like living in LA more.
UD: NYC or LA women?
NS: Well, if a zero is looking their worst and a ten is looking their best...when women in LA go out on the scene, they cannot look any prettier genetically (or even surgically) than they do at that moment—they're maxed out.
UD: And NYC women?
NS: In New York, they'll be about a six, and I love that there's the potential for meeting someone who can be more attractive than what you're seeing. It leaves a little bit to the imagination.
UD: How does The Game change when you're in a relationship?
NS: Nothing you learn in The Game helps in a relationship...the rules are almost the opposite. With The Game you learn don't give people generic compliments, don't take her out on romantic dates, don't buy her things. Well, when you're in a relationship, you're always going to be wanting to give generic compliments and getting her things.
UD: What's your recommended itinerary for a first date?
NS: I think get rid of the dating concept altogether. The expectations are too high. This gets rid of the "how many brothers and sisters do you have" type of questions.
UD: Do you have a favorite date spot in NYC?
NS: My favorite place is Milk and Honey. It's a nice place where you can talk. Maybe it's not as cool as it was when I was going there.
UD: And what about in LA?
NS: Right now I like Bar Marmont.
UD: What's the biggest mistake you see guys make?
NS: They hit on a woman before she's attracted to them. You have to lay back and take it easy and then when she's attracted to you, then you're allowed to show your interest. If you do it before that, it's creepy.
UD: What's the ultimate sign for you should just go away and never come back?
NS: Anything from "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom," to "F* off."
UD: Does The Game change if you're trying to work a threesome?
NS: Actually, I did stumble across how to make that happen in a comfortable way for everyone. The number one rule: Make it about her pleasure, not yours. When I happened to do it, the very next day I decided to try it again to make sure it worked, and it worked every time after that.
UD: What are you working on now?
NS: I'm working on a version of The Game for women.
UD: I was going to ask you about female pickup artists and how The Game works from the female perspective.
NS: The female version of The Game is about how not to get hurt. And how to trust and not expose yourself to danger.
UD: We hear you're doing a new movie with Jack Black and Kate Hudson.
NS: That's just a rumor. They're definitely doing a movie of The Game, but they're definitely not in the casting stages yet.
UD: Who would you want to play you?
NS: I have no idea. Not because I'm so special or anything, but just because it's hard to find a good 5' 6" bald guy.
UD: We've heard that women have adjusted their game to The Game. What are the new moves for 2007?
NS: None. I think it's impossible that men and women will ever meet and have a relationship...I'm being sarcastic.
UD: How do women react to you when they find out who you are?
NS: I think there's excitement next to fear. I think they're worried that I have some secret manipulation powers to weave them under my spell.
UD: NYC or LA?
NS: New York is a better city, but I like living in LA more.
UD: NYC or LA women?
NS: Well, if a zero is looking their worst and a ten is looking their best...when women in LA go out on the scene, they cannot look any prettier genetically (or even surgically) than they do at that moment—they're maxed out.
UD: And NYC women?
NS: In New York, they'll be about a six, and I love that there's the potential for meeting someone who can be more attractive than what you're seeing. It leaves a little bit to the imagination.
UD: How does The Game change when you're in a relationship?
NS: Nothing you learn in The Game helps in a relationship...the rules are almost the opposite. With The Game you learn don't give people generic compliments, don't take her out on romantic dates, don't buy her things. Well, when you're in a relationship, you're always going to be wanting to give generic compliments and getting her things.
UD: What's your recommended itinerary for a first date?
NS: I think get rid of the dating concept altogether. The expectations are too high. This gets rid of the "how many brothers and sisters do you have" type of questions.
UD: Do you have a favorite date spot in NYC?
NS: My favorite place is Milk and Honey. It's a nice place where you can talk. Maybe it's not as cool as it was when I was going there.
UD: And what about in LA?
NS: Right now I like Bar Marmont.
UD: What's the biggest mistake you see guys make?
NS: They hit on a woman before she's attracted to them. You have to lay back and take it easy and then when she's attracted to you, then you're allowed to show your interest. If you do it before that, it's creepy.
UD: What's the ultimate sign for you should just go away and never come back?
NS: Anything from "I'll be right back, I have to go to the bathroom," to "F* off."
UD: Does The Game change if you're trying to work a threesome?
NS: Actually, I did stumble across how to make that happen in a comfortable way for everyone. The number one rule: Make it about her pleasure, not yours. When I happened to do it, the very next day I decided to try it again to make sure it worked, and it worked every time after that.
UD: What are you working on now?
NS: I'm working on a version of The Game for women.
UD: I was going to ask you about female pickup artists and how The Game works from the female perspective.
NS: The female version of The Game is about how not to get hurt. And how to trust and not expose yourself to danger.
UD: We hear you're doing a new movie with Jack Black and Kate Hudson.
NS: That's just a rumor. They're definitely doing a movie of The Game, but they're definitely not in the casting stages yet.
UD: Who would you want to play you?
NS: I have no idea. Not because I'm so special or anything, but just because it's hard to find a good 5' 6" bald guy.
UD: We've heard that women have adjusted their game to The Game. What are the new moves for 2007?
NS: None. I think it's impossible that men and women will ever meet and have a relationship...I'm being sarcastic.
