Food & Drink

Those Nerds at Oxford Are Making Their Own Gin Now

It's Distilled With Medieval Barley, Naturally

By Hadley Tomicki ·
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Oxford University, a good place for smart people fixin’ to learn stuff, is introducing its own brand of gin.

In typical Oxford style, this is no mere booze meant to be quaffed down among friends following one’s passing oratory in Jurisprudence, but a historical gin distilled from barley grains and flavored with 25 botanicals, all of which were originally planted and still maintained in Oxford’s Botanic Garden, a plot of 1,600 plants that stretches back to ye good olde medieval year of 1621.

Determined to show other elite institutions that, it too, knows how to throw a rager that shall be determined “brilliant” by all in attendance, the spirit is named “Physic Gin,” and bears the notable essences of Szechuan pepper, opium poppy seed, calamus root and gentian root. The Guardian notes that certain ingredients, like the gin’s juniper berries, are sourced off-campus.

Opium poppy seed, on the other, hand is widely available from the dorm room of a 42-year-old undergrad named Hans.

This is reportedly the first time an institution of higher learning has stepped into the booze-making game, a fairly difficult thing to believe considering the captive, booze-craving student body that universities have just sitting there, twiddling their thumbs and wishing they could get drunk and naked, shedding the stiff upper lip British society iron-cast for them at birth.

Stranger still when you consider there was a Trump University. And apparently one without a Trump Vodka being doled out at premium prices from the bursar’s office, instead of a semester full of required reading.

Hadley Tomicki

Hadley Tomicki lives in Los Angeles. He is probably going nowhere on the 10 Freeway this very second.

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