Welcome to Friday. We spent the morning reading the entire Internet for the 10 bits of news most vital
to your being. Then we made up a quote about each one that you might ponder, overhear or maybe even deploy
over the course of the day. We call it The Cooler, and we suggest sprinkling it liberally over your daily
conversation.
1. “No one needs to be that mean to breakfast foods.”
2. “It’s important to be able to tell a good bot dealer from a bad bot dealer.”
3. “I think I could get behind the Bali-based entrepreneur lifestyle.”
4. “Shandling was witty, dry and self-deprecating—just how I like my comedians.”
5. “... I’m just not sure I need Tinder to be involved in my political decisions.”
6. “Bourdain’s got the right idea. I’d probably die happily after 23 courses of sushi, too.”
7. “The dude was arrested for not returning a VHS tape 14 years ago. Freddy Got Fingered, no less.”
8. “I’ve never felt so bad for Ben Affleck. Just look at that face.”
9. “This isn’t too surprising. I mean, Playboy’s made some big moves lately.”
10. “Ah, Netflix has intentionally been streaming in lower video quality... At least I’m not going insane.”
1. “No one needs to be that mean to breakfast foods.”
2. “It’s important to be able to tell a good bot dealer from a bad bot dealer.”
3. “I think I could get behind the Bali-based entrepreneur lifestyle.”
4. “Shandling was witty, dry and self-deprecating—just how I like my comedians.”
5. “... I’m just not sure I need Tinder to be involved in my political decisions.”
6. “Bourdain’s got the right idea. I’d probably die happily after 23 courses of sushi, too.”
7. “The dude was arrested for not returning a VHS tape 14 years ago. Freddy Got Fingered, no less.”
8. “I’ve never felt so bad for Ben Affleck. Just look at that face.”
9. “This isn’t too surprising. I mean, Playboy’s made some big moves lately.”
10. “Ah, Netflix has intentionally been streaming in lower video quality... At least I’m not going insane.”
