Man, wow, 2014... right?

Such a crazy year. Especially if you were to, say, recap it with bizarre quotes pulled completely out of context from some of our favorite stories.

Unnecessary note: we did that for you below. It’s called The Year in Short.

Enjoy.

“One day we may be able to sense heat signatures like Predator or a pit viper.”

“Huh, the universe sounds a lot like James Earl Jones...”

“This place is not a terrarium.”

“An example of how to substitute a motorcycle helmet for pants.”

“Volunteer to hold the chicken if necessary.”

“When you’re lying helplessly on the ground like an upended turtle.”

“But if that doesn’t work, well, there’s always electroshock therapy.”

“You liked it better before it became a big smoking hole in the ground.”