The thrill of victory.

The agony of defeat.

The time you threw that one ball near the other ball while holding a gin and maintaining a conversation.

Ah, sports...

Consult a rule book for Major League Bocce, the city’s first organized league for the athletic enterprise of beer-fueled lawn bowling, starting October 1 at Three Sheets.

Turns out, this thing’s been quietly around since last fall. But unless you’re one of the few dozen who’ve thrown a pallino, well, then hey... breaking news. That old Italian sport perfected by cardigan-clad guys named Geppetto has a competitive league on Ross Ave. And it’s expanding. Which means your Tuesday and Wednesday nights have a lot more potential for raffas and volos. (Bocce words. We looked them up.)

So find at least three others and register a team (you can do that now through September 22). Then, start practicing. Buy some balls. Create a makeshift 30-by-6-foot roped-off bocce court in your backyard. Monogram some matching newsboy caps. And when the time comes, you’ll gather your squad for a game at Three Sheets.

Which, hey, Three Sheets. That’s a bar. And playing there has some advantages. Things like burgers, draft beer and whiskey specials come to mind.

You always play better with a little whiskey.