If you happen to meet a bear in a dark alley tonight... well, best of luck to you.

But if you happen to meet a bear in the woods, well, we know some people who can help. In fact, they hope you meet a bear in the woods.

So with that, say hello to Cutawhiskie Creek Outfitters, a 3,500-acre North Carolina operation that’s happy to introduce you to bears, boars, big bucks and other manner of large, intimidating creatures. They’re booking special two-and-a-half-day hunts right before Christmas and New Year’s Day.

And here are the three things you should know:

You’ll need to be properly fed and rested. Which is why you should book their two-story lodge, which will sleep up to 16 of you. On the menu: three meals of sausage biscuits, burgers and BBQ. Ghost stories optional.

Bears require lots of planning. Bear season lasts only about three weeks all year, in November and December. And you’re not allowed to bait the bears. Your plan: book a deer hunt, and while you’re out bagging eight-point bucks... and you happen to see a bear... try to maintain your nerve.

If you can’t wait that long, there’s always the boars. Turns out, every season is wild boar season, and they’ll let you hunt them, too.

Of course, learning to shoot couldn’t hurt either.