We’re lovers. You know that. But every now and again, something comes across our desks that just seems... suspicious. Because of the tremendous material upside to all our lives if these claims pan out, we at times put ourselves in harm’s way to investigate. Albeit skeptically.

We call it: Skeptical Investigation. (Trademark pending.)

THE CLAIM
A few lads from the UK recently distilled some vodka and called it 250,000 Scovilles. Mostly because it’s made with Naga Jolokia chilies. Which are the hottest peppers on earth. They said it was the world’s hottest chili vodka. They said it should not be consumed. They said... the magic words.

THE INVESTIGATION
So we sent our experimental vodka technician out into the field.

Difficulties arose early in the investigation. Like the unexpected trip to the hardware store for a pair of wire cutters. (Yes, the bottle is sealed with industrial-grade wire.) But our thirsty gumshoe persevered, poured himself a shot and began the horrifyingly inescapable quaffing process.

First, a slight tingling on the lips. Followed by the unmistakable taste of... well, vodka. Then it happened. Heat. 250,000 Scoville units’ worth of heat. The kind of heat that made our technician long for a sip of Tabasco just to cool things down a bit.

THE VERDICT
Don’t: drink this. Do: make other people drink this. At the very least, it’ll be kind of hilarious to watch.

And record if at all possible.