Dear Hef:

We understand times are tough. 

The magazine has seen better days, and now Holly, one of your girlfriends, announced she was leaving.

Worse, we passed by the grotto the other day. It was empty but for one small orgy.

Here—cheer up. Have a glass of wine. It's actually one of your own. It's from the new Playboy High-End Collector's Series.

You were sleeping through the last boardroom meeting about this stuff, so we'll give you a quick refresher. This isn't the kind of mass-market vino that you'll find other celebrities hawking (cough, Ditka). The twelve wines in the series are culled from highly allocated selections from boutique wineries in California, Oregon and—because occasionally your palate needs a break from places next door—also Spain, Italy, Australia and beyond.

Plus, each of the wines is adorned with an iconic bunny from the Playboy archives who best represents the character of the wine. As you would expect, most are full-bodied, well-structured and, more often than not, luscious.

The bottles are available individually, but we're going to sign you up for the entire twelve-month plan.

We know how you like a good subscription.

Forever in your debt,

UrbanDaddy Chicago