Willpower. It can wait. That’s what willpower is good at. So right now, before you go and do anything hasty in the form of self-improvement, peruse these final hurrahs. Your id will thank you.
Your bottle-service bill: grotesque. So before you rein it in next year, there’s a $100,000 NYE package. It has that obscenely huge champagne Nebuchadnezzar, preferred by Russian billionaires and Zac Efrons everywhere, plus a steak dinner (for 20), four bottles of vodka and other stuff. Like a Miami vacation.
Next year, you’ll be a better person. You’ll eat healthier. You’ll go to bed earlier. You’ll see films with subtitles. So... that gives you one more Monday to go full-tilt boogie until 4am, accompanied by all the chicken wings and adult cinema you can handle. And we don’t mean The King’s Speech.
In January, it’s more crunches and less beer. You swear. Now, however, relax with as many Christmas beers as you want—the Boundary has a full dozen, including a toasty Snow Day from New Belgium and Rogue’s Santa’s Private Reserve. You knew fatty was holding back on you.
If you’re going all-out gluttonous before NYE, that’s fine. Just do it in style. This package offers: 1) a porcine-shaped flying pig chocolate bar; 2) two chocolate-bacon bars; 3) a 22-ounce bottle of oatmeal stout; 4) a big purple bow. To keep things classy.
This year, we’ve seen you out carousing. Prowling. Cavorting. Gallivanting. But in 2012, you’re going to be more of a homebody. For practice: a party suite featuring flat-screens, game tables, a wet bar and a billiards room. Wayne Manor only has it beat by one Batpole and one Alfred...
