A week from today, tens of thousands of people will gather on the Mall. Which means you’ll want to keep your distance. On a boat. With a fellow patriot and/or lover of Chinese-made gunpowder. Herewith, your UrbanDaddy July 4 survival kit.
Let others command the ship of state. You’ll settle for your own vessel. Like a two-person canoe out of the Georgetown outfitter. Propelling your canoe with a bottle rocket isn’t recommended.
A whole evening on the river is a long time. Which is why you need multiple lobster rolls. Enter one of DC’s most popular food trucks, now selling special-order lobster roll “kits” for pickup or delivery. Don’t trust your doorman to sign for them.
Until someone opens a tiki bar on the Potomac, you’re going to have to make do. Three of your favorite liquors in chrome flasks, held together by a Mississippi croc hide case, are a nice start. Come to think of it, maybe you’re the tiki bar on the Potomac.
Because it’s hard to get a five-piece jazz combo on a canoe, there’s this water-resistant sound system that will charge your iPhone or iPod via the sun. It’s just the thing for the Bob Seger–rich playlist you choreographed for the fireworks.
It’s happened before: you and your date are so moved by the fireworks display that it leads to a stealthy dip in the water. You want to be prepared, so consider these floral-print surf shorts—lined, quick-dry cotton, with mesh drains in the pockets and a military drawstring. A civilian drawstring just wouldn’t do.
