Luther Vandross. Teddy Pendergrass. Barry White. Marvin Gaye.

When it comes to the art of seduction, you’ve been known to employ what some people might call “chocolate thunder.”

So we’re here to tell you about your newest piece of sexual weaponry. And this time it’s actual chocolate.

Presenting Aphrodisia, a kind of high-grade chocolate that was created specifically to get the love juices flowing, now available.

This is no mere Wonka bar. This is the Love Potion No. 9 of chocolate candies, packed with practically every known aphrodisiac on the planet. This includes but is not limited to: the horny goat weed (which got its name after it increased the virility of goats), figs (the preferred fruit of the original cougar, Cleopatra), yohimbe (warriors reportedly took this before battle, so, you know...) and even a Himalayan concoction called Shilajit, which, when translated from Sanskrit, means “conqueror of mountains” (ahem).

So the next time you’re strolling home with your better half after a date in the South End, or relaxing on the couch after a particularly rousing Mad Men episode, you’ll want to break out a couple pieces of this, and let its chocolate-covered magic take over.

Your move, oysters...